Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
