I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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