i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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