If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
