i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
