Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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