I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
