Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
