bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
