I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
