dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
