I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
