New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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