You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
