what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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