Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
