She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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