Yo dont text me then not text me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
