ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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