Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
