hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
