someone get that fucking seahorse.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
