Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
