I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have tasted many bathrooms
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
