I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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