Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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