You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
