her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
