Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
