WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
