I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
