I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
