Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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