we're blogging at a bar
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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