I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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