I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
