is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
