Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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