I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This is the high leading the old right now
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
