Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
