I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I look better un-naked...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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