I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
