I must be too annoying 4 u.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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