i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
