Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.

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(765): View more from Indiana

looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...

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(210): View more from Texas

Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"

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(714): View more from California

I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.

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(206): View more from Washington

I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.

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(509): View more from Washington

Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.

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(914): View more from New York

friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day

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(770): View more from Georgia

My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.

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