we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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