She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
