ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
