This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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