youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
