I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I touched a dick in church today
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
