fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
